Today was a good day. I put in some old Pet Shop Boys vids while I was getting ready for work today. They certainly bring back memories, and I love their music, but their songs are always so bittersweet. The early videos where they had to pretend to be straight (yes, Virginia, musical artists still had to do that then, and to a certain extent still do - for every Pansy Division, there are two Ricky Martins) were weird and kind of sad. Plus their music has always highlighted the sad side of the gay world. The frequently unrequited longing, frustration, and loneliness has always been front and center. They do a good job of illustrating the dark, exciting side too, but in their music, even that is tinged with future regrets that you feel coming. I love their music, but they do not engender dramatic renewal of purpose. So I popped my hoochie CD into the stereo on the way to work to pump me up.

I had another suspiciously pleasant day at work, which would have made me nervous, but I finally figured out what was going on. We're building up to the Thanksgiving Screamer. Before every holiday, I have one client who will have left everything until the last moment, and will call in the afternoon before we leave with some un-meetable demand. Because we'll be on skeleton crew (there will be so many people off next week), we won't be able to meet whatever request he has, and he'll spend that afternoon going up the chain, screaming the house down and complaining, trying to get whatever it is done. It's kind of the way we pay for the time out of the office. Now I can relax. Apparently my screamer this year will be a doozy, since everyone was so nice this week, but forewarned is forearmed. Now that I know what's coming, I can relax a bit.

And Angela came through town, with her suspectly gorgeous paramour, Steven. I swear if that boy wasn't so nice and laid back, I'd have to hate his guts. He wears his beauty like an old flannel shirt he just happened to roll into that morning. When I see Angela, it's always like the circus has come to town. I adore her. I have three beautiful sisters, but she is easily the most glamorous. She has addressed the Congressional Women's Caucus - twice. She has had an incredible life, working as a model in LA, New York, Paris, and Japan. She's been an actor, a writer, and made her own movie, "Searching for Angela Shelton". The movie starts with the premise of finding all the women in the country named Angela Shelton, and interviewing them as a cross-section of women in general. As she got more into the project, she found that many of the women had been beaten, raped, or molested. Angela and I come from an incest abuse background, and as she continued working, she realized that her story would have to be told as well. At the time, we hadn't spoken in over 10 years. But she called me, and came to the house, and interviewed me for the movie. We killed some demons, and started working our way back to a relationship. The movie has developed a cult following within the abuse movement, and Angela has touched many, many lives with the movie and the speaking tour she went on to talk about it. She also has a book coming out next year about making the movie, and coming into her own in her personal life as well.

Thankfully, she told me last night that after the book came out she will be moving away from the abuse/victim community. She has been immersed in the community for years. I know there is a lot of work there to do - much more that remains to be done; but the abuse community for Angela has been like a barbed wire blanket. It has shielded her from the outside world as the people in it tried to pick her to bits. It's unfortunate but true. The abuse community is a gaping wound of need. No matter how much you give, it just isn't enough. People that identify with the movie see Angela as their personal savior. They want her to get involved with every one of them, individually, to nurture and heal them, because they identify with the things she says, and think that she has the "magic key" to healing. Of course this is impossible. But these are broken people, some of whom, unfortunately, will never be whole. The only way to be healed is to go to therapy and do the work yourself, but it is really hard work to do. Some people just aren't brave enough or strong enough to do it, and they want Angela to do it for them, or with them. When she can't, they resent her for it and turn on her. Part of the reason is of course that the subject she raises is so intensely personal. For many of these people, seeing her movie is the first thing that has opened the box of their pain and allowed them to talk about what happened. Telling and talking is great, and very powerful, but it is only the first step. When they realize that they have this Pandora's Box opened in their lives, some of them resent her for opening it, however much good it can do. So I'm very proud of the work she has done, and continues to do, but I'm really glad to hear she will be moving on to some other projects as well.

http://www.searchingforangelashelton.com/

Sweet Justin was here for dinner and movie night, and and got to meet her. Since I hadn't shown him her movie yet, we watched it later. He seemed to enjoy it - it is an excellent movie, but I think it made him a bit uncomfortable as well. Justin is such a sweetheart, but he's very young, and has fortunately led kind of a charmed life. I think it's difficult for him to wrap his mind around the kind of suffering some of these women went through. He certainly knows a lot more about me than he did before. But I'm glad he saw it. And he didn't run screaming for the door or anything.