Got home and roasted some baby summer squash to eat on this week. Never get enough veggies. Just take baby yellow squash (3-5" squash) and stem them, then split them lengthwise. Brush with healthy oil, I used grape seed last night. Then salt and pepper, and throw under a broiler. Leave them until they brown on top, then turn off the oven and leave them until the oven cools. The residual heat from the oven will cook them through. Perfectly done, and sweet as candy. The sugar in the baby squash caramelizes under the broiler. They are really good that way.
Did a bit of laundry.
My copy of the movie "Hocus Pocus" came yesterday - hooray! I know it's a stupid movie, but I like to watch it at Halloween. I have some friends who are witches. They got a big kick out of it, and used to quote from it and make fun of it all the time, so it kind of reminds me of them. Plus Bette Midler chewing up the scenery - what's not to like?
I've been watching a lot of movies lately, with friends and stuff. Guess it's part of the Fall nesting season.
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Rant for the day - Internet profile etiquette - things I just don't understand. It's time to retire these online cliches folks:
- Stuffed Bears - now I understand that many of us are bears. But we're also grown men. I have SUCH a pet peeve about guys who post cheesecake photos of themselves posed with a child's toy demurely covering their crotch. This is neither witty nor ironic if your IQ is larger than your waist size. Who is this supposed to turn on? Catholic priests? If you really don't want to show all your business, please - just put on a flattering pair of underwear. Likewise, I am officially setting the number for the limit of stuffed bears in your house to five if you are over the age of 12. Mounds of them on your bed are just creepy. So unless you have had more than five relatives leave you antique Steiffs, the stuffed bears should be kept to a minimum.
- The phrase "I won't bite...unless you want me to!" - (usually followed with a tee-hee or LOL). This was last witty somewhere around the early cretaceous period. You're online. Trust me, if he wants you to bite him, he will tell you. You'll be far more likely to have more chat if you show some originality and wit, and are able to hold a conversation. Very few guys in chat rooms or chat sites are so timid that they won't send an IM if they really want to do so.
- State, city: Planet Earth - A serial killer cannot track you down with only the city and state you live in. Trust me. I live in SC. Even in this little bitty state, it takes a while to look through everyone here. If you really live in Mayberry, and there are only 5 people there, at least give the STATE. Those who might want to meet you some day would like to have some idea where you are before investing loads of time chatting with you. If you are so paranoid or so deep in the closet that you can't list the state you live in, you aren't ready for a relationship, and should really be using that online time in therapy.
- About yourself: (blank) - When I see this on a picture website, I automatically think that the guy thinks he is so hot that a picture should be all he needs to post. Apparently he is so so gorgeous, so irresistible, that without knowing anything we must barrage him with emails, send flowers (where?), point our nipples to the wind and fly to his email to tell him of our unending lust for him. On a non-picture profile (or Yahoo!, home of the empty profile) I suspect that this man is so boring, so dull, so Walter-Mitty-esque that he just can't find a single thing to say about himself. Once again, seek help. EVERYONE has something they can write on their profile. Anything is better than nothing. Wax eloquent about your love for celery, talk about your cat, or how you love to fart in the shower. I'm telling you, anything is better than telling the world you are so boring that you have not one word you can write about yourself. I honestly cannot imagine anyone being given an unlimited, uncensored space to write anything they want and having NO voice, nothing they want to say? Is this possible?
- Hello, meet my wiener - You post only one picture, and it's of your penis. When I see this, I automatically assume that is the most attractive part of your body. Either that or you are so far back in the closet you have to spelunk through the long underwear to make it to the office every day. Seriously, does anyone ever look at that one penis pic and go "Eureka!! That's the one for me! I have found my perfect man - the search is OVER!" Not bloody likely. Now I have no problem with being happy with your dick. This world would be a much nicer place, and we would all be much more stable and less touchy if more guys were secure with their lil' fella. Think of the natural resources we would save on unnecessary big guns, superfluous big knives, and huge tires for ridiculous trucks alone. But really, is this the BEST thing about yourself? Seriously, to most of you, I'd love to take a look at your wiener at some point, some of you almost immediately, but that's not the only part of your body I want to see. And I'd like to see your face first. Thanks.
- The vintage picture - You've all met him. The guy who posts a picture at least 15 years out of date. The guy who tells you he was wearing spats and a high collar for a costume party. The guy who sends you the picture of himself BEFORE he inherited the Little Debbie franchise. What is the deal? We all have pictures of ourselves at our best that we like. We all wish we still looked that way. But at some point you have to look in the mirror and realize you don't. It's dishonest to pass that image of yourself off as your current self, even if you still feel the same inside. Do you think people won't notice that extra 50 pounds? Do you think that they won't notice that you had lunch with Archduke Ferdinand before he was shot? Do you think that they just won't care what you look like once they get there? And why would you want to be with someone who just doesn't care? I think that the hope is that, after having talked to you online, they will know the you inside and the older fatter outside won't matter. Well that would be nice, but it doesn't work that way folks. And what kind of relationship are you going to start if you begin with a lie? When you get right down to it, that's what it is. You are lying to the person you are hoping will be interested in you. You are setting yourself up to fail, and you are setting up the person you are meeting to be disappointed. Why would you want to set up a dynamic where the people you meet in real life are disappointed? So get a current picture, get honest, and meet people who are truly interested in you as you are, not as you were.
- They one whose whole message LOOKS LIKE THIS - ADVERTISING TO THE WORLD THAT THEY CANT TYPE - OK if you can find the space key, you can find the shift key. There are TWO of them for heaven's sake! Youwouldn'ttypewithnospaceswouldyou,thatwouldbehardtoread. Why would you not use the shift key and YELL at everyone all the time? This is like nails on a chalkboard, or a crying baby in a restaurant. If you're hunting and pecking anyway, it's not any harder, or much slower, to use the shift key. You have two index fingers.
- Facile "philosophy" - If your personal motto can be summed up by a trucker's hat, a bumper sticker, a t-shirt at a local flea market, or in the lyrics of a country/western song, just get a tattoo. Get a tattoo in a place that only those who truly need to see it will be reading it. Here's a good rule of thumb. By the time a saying makes it on to a garment with any percentage of polyester that can be purchased at the same time you buy jerky, it is already trite. At best.
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