The beautiful dreams continue

One of the things I have noticed lately is that I am dreaming intently. I suppose I am making up for the loss of REM sleep for all those interrupted nights after the surgery. At any rate, last night's was wonderful.

I was in Spain. I had just succeeded in stealing a little Spanish hairdresser from his ex, a conspicuously beautiful and well-known hairdresser who treated him poorly. After hanging around with them for some time, my little guy had finally realized that I cared for him and would treat him much better than this guy, who made him unhappy. My guy was slightly effeminate, but very cute. He had chocolate brown eyes, and crooked teeth that I found endearing.

We had been to eat at a colorful Spanish street festival (delicious seafood paella) , and he left me to cut hair at a temporary booth he was working for the festival. I had enjoyed the festival, and then gone to watch him when he didn't know I was around. I wanted to see him work. I had seen him interact with his customers, who knew his talent. He cared about each one, and brought out their own beauty, while joking with them and making them feel good. The all loved him.

He had just noticed me standing off to the side, and his eyes lit up. He came over to me, and we sat down, him on my lap. He was telling me between kisses how much he adored me when I woke up. Sigh. If only.

Not sure where that one is coming from. From lonliness, sure. But Marvin is Hispanic and small. Could that have been him in the dream? He doesn't do hair. And he has nice teeth. Plus, Lee told me last night that he doesn't think Marvin is really interested in me. Could this have been my sub-conscious packaging some secret affection for Russ? I don't think so. I adore Russ, but we have never been attracted to each other. Maybe that is as close as my sub-conscious can get to working out old feelings for Billy. I had an enormous crush on Billy years before Russ, but I was never Billy's type. I still love Billy, but I would never try to come between him and Russ (not that I could if I wanted to). Maybe my brain is just trying to make me feel better. I have really been feeling like the odd one out lately. It was a lovely dream.

I'm really glad there is another single person coming tonight, even if he isn't interested in me.

After supper (my eggplant turned out absolutely delicious, if I did make it), Clayton and I finished off the night with a piece of cake and an old Star Wars (#5) on cable while Lee made a stawberry cake for tomorrow night. The cream cheese icing has real stawberries cut up in it, and tastes amazing. My potato salad turned out very good - thank goodness. The last batch I made really wasn't fit to eat, and I was worried it had been so long since I made it that I had lost my hand. I got a bit too much celery in it, but Clayton said he liked it.

I had a terrible time getting to sleep last night, even with sleeping pills. I was horny as a three-legged goat preoccupied.

A nice Charlotte Lee/Clayton day

I slept well last night, and dreamed I was singing in a concert. I guess that's because my singing voice (or possible lack thereof) has been on my mind so much lately. I got up about 8:30 and headed downstairs to see who was up. I was surprised that Lee was still in bed. But Clayton was up, and had made coffee. So I got a cup and headed to the den to escape the little kitchen TV and read for a bit while Clayton messed around on the computer.

When Lee got up, we decided to go to Original Pancake House for brunch. I LOVE the OPH, and always want to go there when I come to Charlotte. There are a couple in Atlanta too, but I hardly ever go to Atlanta any more. Sadly, there aren't any in Greenville. Their old-school French-style mushroom omlette with sherry cream sauce is just one of my reasons to keep on living.

Before that though, we made a trip to the Farmer's Market for fresh produce for the party tomorrow night. The market was pretty quiet today, it being the 4th and all, but there were enough sellers there to find what we needed, and there was some really nice produce to choose from. I founds some beautiful eggplants and scallions, so decided to make a greek eggplant dish that I do for dinner tonight, adding the caramelized scallions just because.

I also told Lee I would make potato salad, since my mother's is so good, and he says his isn't that good. Well I found out why. No Duke's mayonnaise, and no celery. Hello. Everyone knows potato salad has to have celery for flavor and crunch. It surprises me how many people seem to have such an extreme aversion to celery. Then Clayton was trying to tell me what kind of vingar to use in the dressing. Finally, I was like "Why did you ask me to make it, and then try to tell me how to do it?" After that, they said I could put what I wanted in it.

After brunch, and a stroll through Home Depot (the downtown one here is quite posh, and has apparently taken over the pre-fab fag furniture market since Bombay Company went out of business), we came home. I was pretty tired. I'm still getting tired faster than usual, and I had done a lot more walking around than usual this morning.

While Lee was at the store getting the rest of the stuff for the cookout, I rested for a while, then put the potato salad together. I hate making it, but I'd rather make it than eat storebought - ew. I also put the eggplant together and got it ready to bake for dinner. So I was happily buzzing around in the kitchen, but I think I overdid it a bit today. I'm pretty tired. But I do love to cook for people; and they're having folks in tomorrow. So it's all good. All I am doing tomorrow that I know of is making the baked beans.

Arrival in Charlotte

I sneaked out of work 10 minutes early, beat the traffic out, and made record time to Charlotte. I got there about 7:10, and caught Lee and Clayton still prepping the house. After some debate, we headed out to dinner. I had a baby spinch salad with some truly excellent grilled salmon. I love it, but usually it's overdone when I get it out.

We talked and caught up some, but my voice won't hold out really well to talk over the TV right now, and Clayton is really in to having it on all the time. Also the restaurant where we ate was really noisy.

By the time we got home, the late(r) night last night, the doctor visit, work, and then the drive up took their toll. I was pretty worn out. So I went on to bed.

Post-op with the doc

My appointment with the surgeon today went well. He says I'm healing splendidly, and that things couldn't look more the way he wants them to look at this point. He also told me I will have swelling and irritation going away for another three weeks. That is good news for me since it means I will get more comfortable, and my voice will get better. I'm getting kind of tired of sounding like an echo-y snotnose all the time, and my throat still already feels too full of throat to swallow much else when I'm eating. He was also able to remove a dead skin flap that had been bothering me, and I was glad to get rid of it.

He is a very good doctor, but I waited almost an hour to actually see him. This after the difficulty trying to get an appointment. And of course I went through the same thing scheduling the next one. His staff has apparently been told they cannot make an appointment unless it is inconvenient. Either he is really, really busy, or he is out of the office a lot.

More bad news - another @#$!%$$##!!** lack of 'sleep' study. And this after I swore a Scarlett O'Hara vow to never have another. But this one will be to see whether or not I can get rid of the CPAP machine, so I guess it will be worth it. I'm going to make them give me mega-sleep drugs too.

As soon as I got to work, Paul called. It was good to hear from him, but there is little I can offer him in the way of advice. The die is pretty much cast now. And I just can't stomach going over and over family discord if there is nothing to come of it.

Getting ready to go

Well I got gas, packed up, and went to the library. So I guess I'm ready to leave town. I'm just leaving straight from work tomorrow. It'll be nice to see Lee and Clayton.

Clayton called this afternoon to tell me that Marvin will be coming to dinner on Saturday, which is nice. It will be good to see him again, and I'm glad that I won't be the only single person there. I grow increasingly weary of constantly being the odd one out in a world of couples.

I can now leave town with a clear conscience

I mowed the lawn tonight. My compromise because of the surgery was that I only mowed the front yard. The whole place is as dry as a popcorn fart anyway, so all I really had to do was knock the tops off the dandelions. My daylilies just looked like broomstraw, so I mowed them down, in the process finding that my old neighbors hadn't been very vigilant in picking up all those stupid sample papers that fell down in them on their side. The dust billowed out like something from "Grapes of Wrath". The back yard is pretty fried, and has less dandelions, and is behind the house, so I just cut it some slack. The nice thing about a yard full of weeds is that a) I don't have to worry about watering it; and b) as soon as we get any rain, it will immediately be green again. Right now, I don't have to feel guilty about using up water in a drought-stricken state to maintain something as useless as grass. Scientists call single-species lawns "green deserts" anyway. They're completely unnatural, especially here. Grass was meant to grow in moderate and wet places, like England and Ireland (the "pastoral ideal" lawn concept of sculpted grass originated in England). It is certainly out of place here, where the plants get baked in a kiln 4-6 months each year. I've decided my crappy lawn is just natural selection at work.

I was pretty tired afterwards, but I would have felt bad if I had left town with the house looking shaggy and unkempt. Why that isn't a problem when I'm in town remains a mystery. I also did two loads of laundry tonight, and ran errands after work, so I was a very good boy today. As a reward, I got more cookies with dinner. One of the agencies sent me another cookie box this week, and I have attacked it like the cookie monster. In my defense, this was a Mrs. Beasley's box, and those Caramel Pecan cookies are seriously addictive. The Chocoloate Truffle cookies are an out-of-body experience. They are that good. They are also hella expensive, and I only get them when the agency sends them to me, usually at Christmas. They're also hella fattening, so it's a good thing I don't get them that often. Now that I'm not worried about dating really, though, I'm not obsessing about my weight either.

I had lunch with Pat Green today. She came in to visit at work. I worked with her for years and years, since 1993. She was the "Grandma" for most of the office, and I love her dearly. Pat was a great rarity in the corporate world - someone who speaks their mind. If Pat didn't have any use for you, you pretty much knew it, but if she liked you she could be a great help. She helped me a lot through the years, and we have remained friends. She had to retire last year with complications from lung cancer, but she seems to be doing OK. She's pretty feisty, and if you can beat cancer through willpower, she'd be the one to do it. She told me she has started doing acupuncture to help with the chronic pain she lives with now. We had a good lunch, and caught each other up on our crazy families. Hers is as disfunctional as mine. So I spent $40 for lunch (she likes to go for Japanese). But it was worth it. Sushi and Pat together is a great treat.

One of my favorite Pat stories. She had asked me to take her to the Japanese restaurant, because she wanted to try it, and knew that I was familiar with the cuisine. So I took her and ordered some food, part of which was Miso soup. The place near where I work, Sushi Masa, has really fantastic Miso soup. So she was eating it, and asked me what it was. After I told her, she asked me what Miso was. You should have seen her face when I explained that it was fermented soybean paste! She ate it, but never ordered it again. I have gotten her hooked on edamame though. To this day, she never knows what it is that she likes. I always get her a teriyaki chicken bento box when we go.

I heard the "Jenny Wore Black" commercial again tonight. It is for Ritz crackers, not an amusement park. I'm not sure which is worse. But I think I know kind of how the boomers felt now when they heard Nike using John Lennon songs to sell sneakers. At least 80's music didn't really stand for anything to start with, it was just about money and a good time. I guess that's why it sounds so dated and hackneyed now. Not that that makes me love it any less.

After I finished mowing tonight, my hunky bear neighbor (who doesn't know he's a bear - he's straight) Tim came out on his porch and talked to me for a while. He is a super nice guy, and I really lucked out in the neighbor department there. I have to say, I was a bit nervous at first, moving to the Mill Hill. There weren't as many gay people living over there then as there are now, and I wasn't certain what my reception might be. But Tim has always been nice. He offered to watch out for our cars after Michael's got egged one year near Halloween (he is up periodically at night, smoking on the porch). As usual, we used up our stock of "polite neighbor conversation" and retired to our houses. If we had anything at all in common, we would probably be friends, but as it is, we just have a polite mutual admiration thing. Which is fine for neighbors.