Reasons that it sucks to be me

As some of you do not know, I have the worst luck with slow people in the world. This is either God making me pay for my impatience, or Vishnu forcing me to pay back some kind of rushing karma from a former life. I was in a huge hurry this morning, because I had errands to run this morning before work. This is how it went:

- Rushed to the Spinx, delighting to find an open pump. When I pulled up, however, not only was there a huge SUV trying to get to it as well, there was some man standing there with no car doing something with the pump. He didn't look as if he worked there. It turned out he ran a yard service or something, and was using pumps on BOTH sides of the island to fill gas cans. Grrr.

- Rushed into the grocery store for fruit, and grabbed a couple of bananas for lunch. Got to the one open register to find a senior citizen there (at 8 freakin AM!!) buying her groceries - with a handful of coupons. The diligent cashier went through every coupon, making sure it was being used appropriately. After this process was completed, the woman began writing a calligraphy check, carefully crossing each t, making little flourishes, etc with her arthritic hands, all the while carrying on a leisurely conversation with the cashier, who delightedly informed us all that the the calligrapher attended the same church she did.

- Rushed to the CVS to pick up the sleeping pills I have to have for tonight. There were two cars waiting at the "convenient drive-thru" window, since they routinely let people sit there while their prescriptions are filled. How does this save time? Go IN the fricking store! Well I had dropped my prescription off yesterday so I could just dash by and get it today, but I had to get out and go in. When I left, the same two cars were parked at the window.

- Peeled out of the parking lot, now late for work. I have to make a right at the light to get onto the road. Of course, there was some nimno sitting in the right hand lane, not turning, when there was a perfectly good forward only lane right beside him.

The Rules

Generally when I enter any public roadway, there is apparently a beacon that goes out, telling all senior citizens (particularly old women who appear behind the wheel as a puff of white hair and knuckles, and particularly any man who fought in WWI and wears a hat) that it is GO time. Said bulletin also apparently contains my description (although of course the slow people in my area all recognize me by sight) and my destination, along with the notice that the time to run their errands is NOW. If by chance I am headed to the grocery store, an additional bulletin goes out to any backwoods family with at least 20 children that NOW is the time to come down from the hills and stock up on the staples they have been needing.

My entry into any store stimulates every register to need the tape changed, and for half the cashiers to end their shift. The other half go on break. I stand and watch the speedy, efficient and friendly cashier that checked out the person before me leave, to be replaced with the clerk hired under the store's new "Nell outreach program". Any competent cashier stranded at the register as I approach must either force their register to crash, or spontaneously decapitate.

When I approach a teller or a self-check in a store, there is invariably some person in front of me who recently either escaped from captivity, or immigrated to this country from somewhere there is no electricity. They are therefore endlessly both intrigued and mystified by the wonders of any computerized anything. In the case of the self-check, they will also be enrolled in at least three public assistance programs, the items for which must be totaled separately. In the case of the ATM, this person will be doing ALL the yearly banking for some small, disorganized country.

Rich Spinach Casserole

This is one of my own recipes, thought I would share it with you, since I'm sending it to a friend today:

2 lbs frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 cup toasted pine nuts
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 pound shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
2 tubes Ritz crackers, crushed
2-3 Tbs butter

Sautee onion in butter or margarine until caramelized. Add spinach, and cook on low just to remove excess moisture. When mostly dry, remove from heat and set aside to cool. When cooled, add pine nuts, eggs, buttermilk, and 3/4 of the Ritz crackers, reserving a quarter of them for the topping. Last, mix in the cheese and put into a greased casserole dish. Melt butter or margarine in a small saucepan, and add reserved cracker crumbs, tossing until all butter is absorbed. Sprinkle over the casserole, and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes to an hour.

***Buttered crumbs are great, but usually I only do that kind of fatness at Thanksgiving. For a healthier version, sub out the Ritz crackers in the body of the casserole with re-hydrated Bulgar wheat. Leave it a bit dry so it will soak up the spinach juice, etc, in the oven and bind the casserole. Instead of buttered crumbs, sprinkle the top lightly with Parmesan cheese.

"Her life went on being fairly tedious."

OK, I totally stole this from Sweet Justin's blog, because it is so perfect for me right now. Esp after reading his blog and about his life...

Also blatantly stolen from Sweet Justin's blog:

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply;
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands a lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet know its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone;
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

I heard that poem years ago on the Writer's Almanac on NPR, and it made a huge impression on me. I'm afraid that I was a little rough on Justin today for having it on his blog. He is a very smart and sensitive guy, but he's just too young to understand it, although I have no doubt he can appreciate its beauty. The summer still sings in him. At 22, I don't think he can possibly know what it is to look back on that summer as a memory, and wonder how much song remains in your life, if any.

Yet another productive day at work, except for a run-in with a rogue sales rep. Sigh. They pump those guys full of motivational tapes, and throw them behind a phone, still foaming at the mouth, and then we have to train them to actually work within the system. As long as I've been doing it, it is still exasperating.

Brings me to another theme I've been noticing lately. I have much less patience with bullshit than I used to have. Growing older, it seems people either go one way or another. Either you become more patient and able to deal with it all, or you realize the clock is ticking, and you just don't have time to listen to a bunch of crap you've heard before, when you know what the outcome is going to be already anyway. I kind of wish I was more like the patient and kind Mrs. Claus, but as time goes by, I seem to get more and more like Maxine on the Hallmark cards. I really feel, a lot of times, like "been there, done that, know how this is ending, let's just shortcut this". I have to really try hard not to cut people off sometimes; and even a lot of times when I'm successful, I still hear Maxine's voice in my head. It's not good, because that's how you get crotchety and close-minded, which I don't want to be. Still, some people do appreciate my ability to get to the bottom line expediently - to get to the heart of things. I just have to remember to do that only when I'm ASKED to do it LOL. Also, it does make me more appreciative of the wonderful older people I have known in my life who took the time to listen to me, even though they had heard and experienced it all before. I am going to try to be more like them.

Last night was a good night. Russ had to cancel my haircut, but that was OK, I was busy anyway. I went to see Miss Kat, Dana, and Helen. I had a lovely time, as always. Dana has a cold, bless her heart. She works so hard.

We had a great visit, and since I was feeling very loquacious last night, I just told stories. It was nice just to sit around and talk, and I love to make them laugh. Helen came up for a while and talked to us. She spends a lot of time in her "apartment" downstairs.

I also took them the last of the pumpkin squares, which they really enjoyed. I had one with them. They were better than I remembered them being. I may have to make another pan of them sooner than I thought...

So I got in about 10:30, tired, but with the pleasant flush of good company to see me off to sleep

Where I proceeded to have weird Kafka dreams all night. I was at the campout with no desserts, which is my campout job. They had decided to do Japanese food, and it was my job to come up with desserts that would complete the theme. I could think of only two Japanese desserts, Umeboshi paste on rice cakes, which I wasn't sure everyone would eat, and the other one I couldn't remember, try as I might. For some reason one of the guys from work was there, and he was just tickled with the Umeboshi idea, since he loved it, and I kept trying to explain that not everyone would eat it, and that it would cost a lot and be difficult to lay hands on enough to feed everyone. I woke up still trying to explain it to him. Don't know what the heck that was all about!

***

Pumpkin Pie Bars

18 1/2	ounces Pillsbury yellow cake mix
1/2	cup butter, melted
4	eggs
1 (30	ounce) can solid pack pumpkin
1	cup sugar, divided
1/2	cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2/3	cup evaporated milk
1 1/2	teaspoons cinnamon
1/2	cup chopped walnuts
1/4	cup butter, softened

Preheat oven to 350 and grease and flour a 13x9 baking pan.

1. Remove 1 cup of the cake mix; reserve. In small bowl, lightly beat 1 egg. In large bowl, stir together remaining cake mix, melted butter and the beaten egg.
2. Press into prepared pan.
3. In large bowl, lightly beat remaining 3 eggs, Stir in the pumpkin, 1/2 cup of the sugar, brown sugar, evaporated milk and cinnamon. Pour over cake mixture in pain. To the 1 cup reserved cake mix, add remaining 1/2 cup sugar, walnuts and softened butter; mix until crumbly. Sprinkle over pumpkin mixture.
4. Bake 50-60 minutes, Serve warm or cold.

I used pecans instead of walnuts, but either way, use raw nuts. I roasted mine first, and they got a bit too done. I mixed a bar of cream cheese into the pumpkin recipe just for the heck of it. This turned out a lot better than it sounds!

Had an amazingly productive day at work today. I am all caught up on calls, and am pretty much ready for year end. And good for me!

Did a bit of Christmas shopping on the way home last night. It's time to start knocking it out. I was able to get 5 gifts out of the way - a good chunk of the 24 on my list this year. I already had a few, and some I will order on-line. I'm kind of phoning it in this year. Mom is coming down the weekend of the 7th, so I already told her I'm not putting up the tree. She was upset, but accepted that. I just don't feel like doing it, so I'm not doing it. Being sick over Thanksgiving took away my bonus cleaning time, and I still haven't deep-cleaned the living room. Trying to fit all that in with December looming is just too much.

Miss Kat called me last night to check on me. She was concerned that I haven't been feeling well. It was so sweet of her to be concerned. I'm going over there tomorrow night, and taking the rest of the pumpkin bars from Thanksgiving. They did turn out really good, but I don't need to eat all of the ones left. I sent a bunch home with Rhonda and Tony, since they have three eating.
Other than that, quietness. Family Guy has 4 episodes on Tuesday night, so watched that. Loaded up a plate to take to work tomorrow, am seeing light at the end of the tunnel on the Thanksgiving food finally!

I got a message last night on Bear411 from a really cute, smart guy. Of course he lives in Florida. But he told me he's been reading my blog, and it's been boring as hell lately! Figures.
So I'll put a little rant in today - this ones overdue:

WAYS NOT TO DRIVE PEOPLE INSANE WITH YOUR CHILDREN IN PUBLIC

1) Public shopping malls, flea markets, grocery stores, and expressways are NOT the places to teach Junior to walk. As adorable as those first steps are, there are people in public with things to do and places to go. Please reserve walking practice for when you are at home.

2) A stroller is a device that enables you to take Junior with you when he is too big to carry, and still too young to walk well (see above). I unnderstand that since your hands are busy with the stroller, you may have to put things like your purse, etc in the stroller. This is NOT LICENSE however, to have a stroller as large as a Hummer and more unwieldy than a bloated menstrual hippopotamus. If you feel you CANNOT survive without a stroller that must be stored in a hanger, refrain from taking it down aisles where you will clearly block all other traffic. You have the choice. Either limit the size of your stroller or the size of the places you take it. Regardless of the size of your stroller, PULL IT TO THE SIDE when you stop to examine whatever. Stopping to talk to another stroller mom going in the opposite direction, and thereby blocking all traffic around the two of you is subject to the legal use of hand grenades and should be avoided at all costs.

3) I understand that many people no longer prepare meals at home. I understand also that children have to eat. The unfortunate consequence of this is a glut of ill-behaved and too-young children flooding in to places they are neither socially prepared, nor chronologically qualified to be. I understand that if I am in a restaurant with day-glow cartoon characters festoon the walls, menus, and/or food items, I am at the mercy of the market. There are also many "family-friendly" restaurants that cater to kids, and I accept that and avoid them. HOWEVER. If you are in a restaurant where any of the following occur: cloth napkins are used, cocktails may be purchased or there is a wine list, candles adorn the tables, or the average price of an entree is $12 or more - you are in an adult venue. This means that any child entering this venue should be able to sit in a chair, eat with a fork, and use an indoor voice. If your child is incapable of sustaining same for a minimum of one hour, this is not someplace you should be with your child. If you are unaware of your child's capabilities to sustain behavior, crying, yelling, running though the restaurant should be stopped within an absolute maximum of two (2) minutes. After that two minute period has passed, the child should be taken out of the restaurant until he or she can behave. After leaving the restaurant three times, you should not return. After the third two-minute disturbance, either inform the manager or your dining companion to pack your meal to go, and leave the restaurant with the child. Go home and eat. The alternative to this is very simple, but seems to be forgotten. HIRE A SITTER. My parents did this routinely when I was a child if they were going to an adult restaurant, and I assure you I have not been psychologically scarred by this experience.

4) When attending a movie, the suggested age rating is for your use, as a parent, in determining whether or not your child should attend. It is therefore inappropriate to have your 2 year old child at the 10pm showing of an R-rated slasher flick. The same rules for disturbance apply as at the restaurant. When the third disturbance starts, your popcorn is already packed to take home.

Following these few simple rules will make public life infinitely more pleasant for all involved, and should significantly reduce both stress and instances of 2nd degree infanticide. Thank you.

Not bad for the first day back at work. Things were pretty quiet, except for another Chicken Little moment from management about a court case that is of course all taken care of, but they suddenly want every detail in like 30 seconds, from memory.

Quiet evening. Ran by the grocery, and watched "The Catered Affair", with Bette, Borgnine, and a practically adolescent Debbie Reynolds. It's a great movie, and of course Bette is fab in it, but it's a pretty grim story.

Bed early, I'm still not feeling 100%. Trying to finish throwing off that crud they gave me at work.