A post in which the Sunday night dinner is on

I had to get something done today. Mom gets here tomorrow, and this house is a sty. Of course I had left it too late to do any real cleaning. I put a list together in my head of the things that absolutely had to be done.

I put a grocery list together, did the shopping, and then came home and made lunches for the week. I made a curried red lentil and spinach soup that actually turned out quite tasty.

While that cooled I straightened up the house enough to pass casual inspection. Since Mom will only be here for one night it should be fine. Lamp light always makes a house look it's best, and she'll be gone to class early the next day.

After cleaning myself up I went to Russ and Billy's to ride to Spartanburg with them. We left right about 5pm, but they had been up very late last night (as had I, although I slept in this morning) and were pretty worn out. We ended up sitting in the drive-through line at Starbucks for 20 minutes so we were late after all, but it was fine.

It was a casual evening. I was glad that Jeff and James didn't work themselves to death. We ordered pizza, played dice, had a couple of drinks, and just visited. I admired their beautiful newCape Cod style front porch they did themselves. It was great. I love them all so much.

If only I could find a commune or something to move into so I wouldn't have to go back to work...

A post in which I go to the camp out

I really intended to get some stuff done around the house today. I really did. But when I woke up this morning, my ass was just full of molasses. I really have no excuse. I indulgently ate my left-over pasta from dinner Thursday for breakfast. It was just as gorgeous as I remembered.

I lay around until it became obvious that I wasn't going to get anything done today. I decided to go to the camp out tonight, which at least gave me a reason to rest up. Plus I wanted to go anyway. Plus Russ started texting me at 11:00 to come up. It was going to be expensive for a day pass, which was why I couldn't talk dana in to going with me, but I decided it would be worth it. Eventually I got up, did the cat chores, got cleaned up, and packed up stuff to take.

Russ had helpfully emailed me the address this week, and I had no problem finding the place. The drive out was nice. The weather was pretty, as was the scenery.

When I got to the event, I was pleasantly surprised at the warm welcome I received. A good many people came up to say hello and hug. Some of them wanted to ask about desserts (I didn't make any), but some of them just wanted to talk. Everyone seemed happy to see me. It made me feel good. They even worked with me on the cost of the day pass, so it was a lot less expensive than I was expecting.

I hung out with Joanne, Rob, Chris, and Kindle for a while, and then shortly before dinner I went up to Russ and Billy's cabin to wake them up. The facility is really nice, and I was impressed with the cabin they had. We went down to eat, and then back up to the cabin with some friends to hang out until the dungeon opened (there was a presentation after the banquet I had already seen). We ended up playing a game called naughty charades that would have been incredibly lame if we all hadn't enjoyed each other's company so much. But it was great just to hang out with friends, laughing and visiting.

When the dungeon opened we went down. Russ of course had several scenes lined up (he did a particularly interesting one where they did saline inflation of labia that I would have really loved to have seen better), and Chris and Kindle were playing together, but I didn't seem to be connecting tonight for some reason. Russ set me up with a very nice woman named pat to have my boots blacked. They needed the attention, and she wanted the practice at erotic boot blacking. I've never had that done before. It was interesting. She did do a lovely job on my boots, plus she did my belt, and my vest looked great.

Sharp looking leather aside, it didn't seem like a whoopin' was in the cards for me tonight. Plus it was butt-ass cold and getting late. Since I wasn't staying over I had drive back also, so I headed on out.

Getting back wasn't too bad, and I was really glad I went. It was good to see everyone, but particularly Chris and Kindle. The more I'm around them, the better I like them. I just hate they're moving away.

I was glad I went, but I was also glad to get home to my warm bed.

A post in which I reach the blessed sanctuary of Miss Kat's house

Since I (mostly) finished that new stuff yesterday, today I just ignored it and caught up on calls and my regular job. Monday should be almost normal at work.

I was worried that dana would cancel on me tonight, but she didn't. She sounded notably out of spirits when she left a message for me that we were still on.

I ran by the library and got the second half of Gone With the Wind on CD. I've really enjoyed listening to it in the car for the last week or so, although the war years have been a bit grim. But the war is over now, and Ashley just came home, so I couldn't stop there!

By the time I got to dana, she had already ordered the pizza, it had arrived, and of course she wouldn't let me pay for any of it. She did seem to perk up, although I know I'm no substitute for Miss Kat. But we were together, and I was blissfully glad to see her. After not seeing them last week, and then the horrible week this end, it was like reaching sanctuary.

We hung out, watched TV, laughed, and just enjoyed each other's company.

A post in which I enjoy an unexpected visit

I almost finished the hell presentation today. There are some people out, and some aren't responding, but all the parts I could do without the input from others are done. I was pretty damn wiped out - it's been the most stressful week I've ever had with the company this week. Out of ten years with them.

To top things off, right as I was getting ready to leave work John called to break our date for Saturday. He tried a couple of lies, but didn't really have any of them straight. And I'm sitting there thinking at least lie quickly. Not only was he lying to me, but I'm having to sit through ten minutes of verbal dissembling and make supportive noises to get the lie. Eventually he said "I guess I'm not putting this very well." "Actually," I replied "I've been dumped before. I know what it sounds like." That pretty much ended the conversation. I'd like to know the real reason he decided to cancel, but it's not like I can force him to go out with me or anything so I guess it really doesn't matter in the end. Needless to say, getting dumped for no discernible reason really topped off my shitty week nicely.

After work I went to get my hair cut. Usually Russ has a waxing after me, but sometimes we still go out to dinner or something afterward. I had forgotten that Joanne and Rob were in town from Savannah for the camp out. We had plans for dinner and I had completely forgotten.

It was so good to see them. We took them to Della Ventura and had an incredible meal. Their food is always good, but it was out of this world tonight! Rob had mussels in red sauce (which I would never have ordered in a million years) and the sauce was so delicious I sat and ate it with a spoon when he finished the mussels. I had eaten so much mussel sauce and bread that I couldn't eat but about half my supper. It was outstanding too though.

Russ is determined that I will drive up to the camp out and get a day pass. I am not as sure about it. I don't know that I would be welcome if I just showed up without reserving a place. That seem presumptuous to me. But it's not like I have any plans for Saturday (now), and I would like to see everyone. Chris and Kindle will be there, and I think it's the last event they will attend before they move to Chicago. I'd really love to see them.

We spent a lovely evening visiting and talking as Russ and Joanne laid out stuff to take this weekend. It was so nice to have something good happen this week. I really, really needed tonight.

A post in which things are a bit better

I dragged myself resignedly to work this morning, again sans nicotine, and threw myself on the alter of the endless PowerPoint presentation.

I made some headway today. I was able to break through the block from yesterday and make some progress.

After work I went to Fried Green Tomatoes to have supper with Eve and Dad. That did give me something to look forward to. I need to spend evenings at home working on the cookbook, but spending all that time at home by myself weighs on me, particularly after spending all day around work people.

I went back to the house after we ate and visited for a while. It was a pleasant evening. I actually look forward to evenings at their house now. It's comfy and warm with the fire lit, no cat messes waiting to be cleaned up, and no housework looking at me accusingly. Dad and I work to be as pleasant with each other as we can be. We got into it a little bit tonight (his solution to all the ills of the world are church, guns, or the Republican party), but we both backed down in the end. It would be so nice to be that sure of everything. There are no gray areas in his world. It's all black and white. Or in the shady realm of complete denial.

A post in which I have a melt down

I dragged myself out of bed and to the office; with no cigarettes yet. I went into my boss's office and registered my displeasure with this steaming pile they have seen fit to dump on my desk to deal with. It's probably a good thing I didn't catch him yesterday - I was so upset I would have probably ended up getting fired. I explained to him that since the reward for taking things professionally and working hard was still more work, that I was in his office to complain like everyone else. My spleen (mostly) vented, I went out to my desk and got to work.

At first things went well, but then I got bogged down and couldn't get anything done. I had no idea what a lot of the things were or where the information came from. I was frustrated and had a headache.

When I got off work I decided to go by Whole Foods. There was something I really needed there, and I usually enjoy going. I was pretty shell-shocked when I got there. I would have just wandered around in a fugue state if I hadn't seen Vince. I forgot he works there, and a lot of the time when I go in he doesn't have time to talk, but he did today. He was nice to me, but I held it together. I told him I was having a hard day, and I'm sure he could tell I wasn't quite myself. When he walked up and slipped some flowers in my buggy, I started having a melt-down. These were the first flowers a man has given me since the last ones Michael gave me on our last anniversary. The combination of the horrible day and then the niceness on top of it took down almost the last of my control.

When I walked up to Vince on the way out to thank him I started to cry. I almost lost it completely. But I did manage to thank him and make it out of the store before I lost it completely.

I decided it was a good evening to spend at home, quietly. I did so.

I did make an effort to find good stuff to think about. I got in touch with John from the party last weekend, and made a dinner date with him for Saturday. Miss Kat's out of town and Russ and Billy will be at the Fall camp-out, so that's pretty much perfect timing. I also talked to Eve and made plans to have dinner with them tomorrow night. That's better than coming home and sitting here by myself.

A post in which things are worse than I thought

Ever since I was charged with the Canadian pile o' shit, I've dreaded work more than usual. But I was in this morning, working on month end. I felt that, although things were bad, I was finally beginning to get a handle on it. Even my boss's request for yet another weekly PowerPoint presentation was OK. I wasn't thrilled. But it was OK. Then the email landed in my box this afternoon, from the Canuck bitch, telling me that I would have her presentation to her by Friday. 22 slides, drawn from information that I've never seen. Basically because her people were too sorry to do it. So she's talked my weenie-ass boss into dumping the steaming pile in my lap. To say that I was upset is kind of like saying that the Titanic crew wasn't fond of icebergs.

Of course Alan was in conference all afternoon. When quitting time came I just logged out. I was way too upset to get any work done. Of course there was a horrible traffic jam this afternoon on top of everything else. I couldn't even get out of the parking lot.

So I went to the cafeteria, read for a half hour, and left. Alan skipped out the door right out of speaking distance as I left. Probably a good thing. If I'd talked to him this afternoon I would probably have been fired.

So I went home, ate left-overs, and stewed. I can't believe they have dumped this on me.

There was nothing on TV, of course. I just put a load of laundry in, dropped on the sofa, and vegged behind the computer. Time enough for unhappiness later.